Are you falling out of love? Do you know the signs to look out for?

In the honeymoon period, it’s only natural that you and your partner are crazy about each other. You want to share everything and every activity feels exciting, even chores.

But as your relationship develops, sometimes this intensity doesn’t turn into a loving, fulfilling companionship. Sometimes it feels like the magic is gone and you’re stuck with a person whom you care about but not necessarily love.

Are you falling out of love? Here are the signs to look out for:

1. Their flaws begin to annoy you – While relationships are about knowing your partner’s flaws and accepting them the way they are, when you’re falling out of love, you might begin to notice their imperfections more and more. Habits that previously seemed cute might get on your nerves inadequately to the situation. You might even forget about their good sides and focus on their flaws because they no longer feel special to you.
2. You are embarrassed to be with them – And even if you aren’t, you aren’t proud to be with them either. You no longer care if your partner joins you at social events and while they used to appear on your social media a lot, it doesn’t matter to you anymore. On the contrary, their flaws might even annoy you to the point you don’t want to be seen with them. If you previously enjoyed going everywhere together but now prefer running unpleasant errands alone, you know something isn’t right.
3. You don’t crave physical intimacy – When you’re in love with someone, being close to them makes you feel good. You want to be physical with them all the time and you use touch to express your affection. But when you’re falling out of love, your partner might no longer seem as attractive to you anymore. You might feel like you lost a mental connection and become distant.
4. You might care about them but don’t like them anymore – Falling out of love doesn’t necessarily mean you don’t love them. You might still care about them but you might not like their company at the same time. You might want the best for them but realise your relationship is far from friendship. Hanging out doesn’t feel entertaining anymore and you prefer spending the time alone or with your friends.
5. You don’t care about going on dates – Relationships are about creating memories. When you’re into someone, you want to spend every single moment together but also do something different once in a while, even if it’s just a trip to the cinema because everything feels pretty much special when you’re around them. If you notice that you don’t spend as much time together anymore and don’t even miss it, it might be a sign you’re falling out of love.
6. You can’t imagine your future together – You think about the future a lot but… your partner isn’t in the picture. While you might have previously wanted to have kids, now you can’t imagine parenting a child with your partner.
7. You don’t prioritise their needs – At the beginning of your relationship, you probably enjoyed compromise because you cared about making them happy and you cared about them liking you. But when love fades, you no longer have to feel insecure or care about their needs. If you find yourself becoming more selfish than usual, your partner might not be as important to you as they used to be.
8. You don’t have disagreements anymore – Do you prefer to drop the subject instead of expressing your needs and reaching an agreement? It’s a sign you’re too tired and gave up on trying to build a connection with your partner. If you no longer argue, it means you’re not doing the work required for a relationship to function.
9. You’re feeling empty – You might think you love your partner but there’s something missing. You’re no longer excited about being with them. You might have stopped making effort a long time ago and everything feels unfulfilling and forced.

Does it mean you should give up on your relationship? Not necessarily. Sometimes a change in behaviour and a need to push your partner away might be a result of stress or mental health difficulties.

If you need to make sense of your feelings, contact My Family Psychologist for a confidential chat.