You’ve been there.
You’ve wanted your teenage boy or girl to do a task, told them to do so, to be met with a disapproving noise, a groan or even a full argument. Don’t worry- it’s normal and is part of their development.
Unsurprisingly, many parents feel that raising a teenager (or multiple teens) can be like navigating a hedge maze, on your own, in the dark, blindfolded. It can feel like they are from another planet and that, at times, you may even get snapped at for asking them if they want a cup of tea.
With that in mind, and with how often teenagers are online, it can be hard for parents to know exactly what their kids are being exposed to. Research points to a hyper-sexualised environment, with a lot of exploitation and misogyny. This exposure to inappropriate material has been linked to problems with teenagers being able to build healthy relationships, as well as having direct links to harmful sexual behaviour and issues around consent.
So, if simply telling teens what to do doesn’t work, what does?
It’ Not the Sex Talk
The awkward sex talk that most people had as teenagers with their parents, while embarrassing, is not really the answer. When it comes to talking to teenagers about sex in a way they will listen, the Early Intervention Foundation in 2022 found that regular, interactive sessions that teach them real life skills (and allows them to practice real life skills) is the most effective.
As the last two blogs have spoken about trying to reduce harmful sexual behaviour in teens, it should be noted that the aforementioned interventions have been found to reduce HSB in teens, based on The Rusell Report, 2025.
Who is Talking?
In the current methods, the teachers are talking and they aren’t able to articulate their thoughts, as highlighted in the last blog post “The Extent”. They are overworked, on tight schedules and frankly, aren’t trained to deliver this message.
This leads to the obvious, teens not tuning in. As highlighted in the Russell Report, teenagers respond better to people who “get it.” These are usually experts like youth workers, psychologists, social workers or even sex therapists. Why? Simply put, these experts know how to break tension and also know how to make sessions engaging, funny, interactive and are also trained in safeguarding concerns, which may be overlooked by teachers.
Why This Age Group?
OK, so if you walk into a room with 15 teenage boys, shout the word “sex” they will likely laugh. So, how do we know and how do you know as their parents that the work highlighted in the Russell Report was effective?
Teenage brains are still growing and adapting, learning about emotions, relationships and empathy, according to both Science Daily (2022) and Big Think (2022). Thus, the sooner these conversations are started around sex, consent, sexually harmful behaviour, porn addiction and this issues in the manosphere, the more likely they are to take it in.
Going back to the room of 15 boys, this has been found to be helpful to teenagers as well. Teens across all genders are hugely influenced by their peers and programs that used peer leaders or encourage boys to challenge these behaviours were found to have the best impact on things like misogynistic attitudes, and image-based abuse. Looking at “If I were Jack” from 2023, with boy in particular, including their peers was found to have a more positive, long-term impact relating to unprotected sex and reducing misogyny.
Group programs let teens in these groups learn from each other, practice new skills, and support one another. These settings are not only effective for teaching, but they are also more fun and engaging for those who take part in them. One to one sessions can be useful but only when there is a direct issue that needs to be explored and challenged.
Also, successful settings were not those that danced around things. In reality, toxic masculinity, parts of the manosphere and online trends can leave teens vulnerable to being exploited. So, by talking about these, as well as power, gender and unhelpful trends that they may have seen online, with the help of professionals, this creates safety and is a much more effective method than avoidance.
For these methods to have been effective, the teens needed to trust the person running them. Can that really occur if they feel it is just another lesson, being crammed in, with minimal interaction?
The Bottom Line
As before, the talk doesn’t work. It bores. As parents, you know that!
Helping your teenager make safe decisions about their relationships isn’t meant to be a chore and it isn’t meant to scare them. It’s about having open honest conversations with them and by allowing professionals to help them build the skills that they need to have a healthy relationship.
So, we know what works. We know what the issue is and how the current systems in place aren’t working.
In the next and final blog in this series, you will be introduced to the Forming Relationships Evolving Sexually Healthily (FRESH) program, how it will help teens to curb attitudes that can lead to sexually harmful behaviour, as well as build skills that can improve their relationships now and in the future. You may have seen the current plans set forward by Keir Starmer to help teachers spot misogyny in teenage boys and his praise of the TV show Adolescents. We know that the Department of Education had highlighted this issue but there are a few issues with this plan to take note of, which will be spoken about more in the next blog which, frankly, point to a lack of clear understanding from the government.
This program has been devised by Luisa Williams, a forensic psychologist with over 20 years’ experience in this area and we feel you will enjoy reading about it!
References
Early Intervention Foundation. (2019). Evaluating early help: A guide to evaluation of complex local early help systems (S. Taylor, E. Drayton & T. McBride). https://www.eif.org.uk/resource/evaluating-early-help-a-guide-to-evaluation-of-complex-local-early-help-systems
Lohan, M., Gillespie, K., Aventin, Á., Gough, A., Warren, E., Lewis, R., Buckley, K., McShane, T., Brennan-Wilson, A., Lagdon, S., Adara, L., McDaid, L., French, R., Young, H., McDowell, C., Logan, D., Toase, S., Hunter, R. M., Gabrio, A., … White, J. (2023). School-based relationship and sexuality education intervention engaging adolescent boys for the reductions of teenage pregnancy: The JACK cluster RCT. Public Health Research, 11(8). https://doi.org/10.3310/YWXQ8757
Morell, C. (2025, December 20). The terrifying ways that social media is altering teenage brains [Interview]. Big Think. Retrieved January 9, 2026, from https://bigthink.com/series/full-interview/social-media-addiction-smartphones
Times of India. (2026, January 7). How UK schools are responding to growing gender bias with behavioral courses for boys and girls. Times of India. Retrieved January 9, 2026, from https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/life-style/parenting/how-uk-schools-are-responding-to-growing-gender-bias-with-behavioral-courses-for-boys-and-girls/articleshow/126390192.cms
University of Pittsburgh. (2022, November 8). Scientists get clearer picture of developing teen brain. ScienceDaily. Retrieved January 9, 2026, from https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2022/11/221108120427.htm