How Do I Know If I’m Co-Dependent
Co-dependent is a word with a negative connotation but we all act co-dependent in one way or another sometimes. However, excessive co-dependent behaviour can turn relationships unhealthy and impact your well being. Have you asked yourself the question ‘how do I know if i’m co-dependent?’
What Is Co-Dependency
In short, co-dependency refers to the unhealthy way one acts in a relationship. A healthy relationship is an equal amount of give and take but when someone is co-dependent, they might frequently make sacrifices for the other person and be consumed by a need to please.
This might lead to both neglecting your needs and being controlling. What’s more, a co-dependent’s person self-worth depends on whether they feel needed by their partner.
What Are The Signs Of Co-Dependency?
The signs of being co-dependent include:
- Putting others’ needs above yours
- Neglecting your health and career for the sake of your partner
- Struggling to set boundaries and staying in abusive relationships to sustain someone’s attention
- Obsessively checking on your partner
- Having low self-esteem
- Doing anything to keep the other person interested such as manipulation, sacrificing your free time to help them etc.
- Putting your partner on a pedestal and doing things for them even if they make you feel bad
- Feeling as if you have no identity
- Apologising frequently even if you weren’t at fault
- Avoiding conflicts
What To Do To Be Less Co-Dependent?
There are many things you can do to help yourself reduce co-dependent tendencies, all of which can be summarised by learning how to become more self-aware.
Try to analyse your past relationships and look for patterns. Was the breakup difficult? Did you struggle to reconnect with yourself after the breakup? Did you care about your needs?
If you’re in a relationship now, try to focus on yourself. Easier said than done but the first step could be joining a new class and reconnecting with friends.
Imagine yourself outside of your relationship; what kind of person do you want to be and what are your goals? Write down your priorities and refer to them whenever you find yourself obsessing over your partner.
Lastly, learn to say no. It will be easier once you’ve more idea of who you are and who you want to be.
You can also practise in front of the mirror to make saying ‘no’ a habit.
If your symptoms impair your functioning and cause problems in your relationship, don’t hesitate to seek help.