How to survive and thrive on Valentine’s Day
Do you dread February 14th? Rest assured, that’s understandable and totally normal. Research [1] has shown that people have extreme feelings towards the day: they either love it or they hate it! If you’re a singleton it can bring up feelings of being an outsider or magnify feelings of loneliness. Whereas if you’re in a relationship the expectations around the day, especially if your relationship is going through a tricky time, may feel you with dread. Here, though are five ways you can survive – and even thrive – on Valentine’s Day.
- Remember it’s a picture-perfect fantasy
Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about love, but it is also about money! Its origins, which can be traced from Roman times, were pretty dark [2] and since then it has progressed through centuries to become a marketing dream. This ancient theme has therefore been rehashed for completely commercial reasons [3]. Hidden behind all the cutesy cards and teddies, however, are real people living real lives, full of difficulties and challenges. So, whilst it’s easy to fall into the trap of thinking everyone else is living a perfect life with a perfect partner, remember that’s just a marketing ploy.
- Enjoy some you time
These days we’re all rushed off our feet, so a bit of downtime can be useful. Valentine’s Day is the perfect opportunity for this. Whilst everybody around you is busy doing things, it frees up space for you to enjoy the things you love. Maybe that’s watching a boxset in your pyjama’s, getting a take-out just for you, or having a long bath and an early night. Put yourself first and do something that makes you feel good.
- Indulge yourself
Take it to another level by treating yourself to something special. You don’t need someone else to buy you a gift – be that person instead! As long as finances allow, why not spend a little on something that will give you some excitement or happiness? It could be a box of hand-crafted chocolates, a beautiful journal, a new jacket, or perhaps a biography of someone inspirational? You don’t have to break the bank but try to find something that makes you feel warm inside.
- Do something different
It may feel like everywhere you look there are hearts and teddies, but you can change your scenery. Think about taking a walk in the countryside or a local park. There, you can feel more grounded in yourself by being in nature. There is something about breathing in the fresh air that can lifts your spirits. Perhaps take a flask of coffee or hot chocolate with you though because it’s still a nippy wind in February!
- Make a plan for adventure in 2023
No, this doesn’t mean going bungy jumping or skydiving, although it could if you wanted to! It means recognizing the things you want to change in your life and thinking of ways you can do this.
If Valentine’s Day is hard because you would like to have someone special in your life, consider the ways you can meet more people. Don’t put pressure on this though – enjoy the journey not the destination. That means, don’t make finding someone your sole purpose. If you do, you will feel disappointed and miss the other good stuff. You see, the more you open up your life, the more you will find happiness and fulfillment by itself.
Having new adventures and meeting different types of people can add such a lot to our lives. Of course, and hopefully, that will include meeting your soulmate. So, research:
- part-time or evening classes,
- hobby groups,
- local choirs or amateur dramatic groups,
- or volunteering opportunities.
- There’s also online dating, which can be both wonderful and, well, not so much! For help with this, see our article on online dating dos and don’ts.
We hope these tips help you survive and thrive on Valentine’s Day. Sometimes people need a little more help in working out difficulties around dating and relationships. There could be lots of reasons for this and at My Family Psychologist we can help you move forward in a positive way. Call today on 07801 079 555 or email luisa@myfamilypsychologist.com for a confidential, no-obligation chat about how you can benefit from our help.
References
- Close Scheinbaum, Angeline & Zinkhan, George. (2012). A Holiday Loved and Loathed: A Consumer Perspective of Valentine’s Day. Advances in Consumer Research. 33.
- https://www.npr.org/2011/02/14/133693152/the-dark-origins-of-valentines-day
- https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/feb/12/valentines-day-commercialised