Is Borderline Personality Disorder my fault?

Receiving any mental disorder diagnosis can be terrifying but when it’s a condition as stigmatised as borderline personality disorder (BPD), it might turn your world upside down.

Firstly, the name itself sounds like there’s something wrong with your personality, as if the symptoms were individual traits you’re responsible for. While personality disorder is known as such because it refers to rigid patterns of behaviour that don’t change depending on a situation, it has a negative connotation that can easily make you believe you’re at fault.

The newer version called emotionally unstable personality disorder isn’t very progressive either – it seems simplified and not far from ‘crazy’.

Secondly, the Internet is full of advice on how to deal with someone with BPD, how to recover from such a relationship or how to care for someone with BPD, while offering little help for the sufferers themselves. When the stigma is so deeply rooted and often paints you as a bad person, it’s difficult to come to terms with your diagnosis and focus on recovery.

As you struggle with a lack of identity and maintaining stable relationships with others, it might seem like BPD isn’t something you have but something you are.

While your feelings are valid and common, remember that having mental issues is never anyone’s fault and there’s nothing wrong with you. Even though the diagnosis can evoke feelings of self-blame and temporarily make your symptoms worse, it might help you receive the right treatment. Additionally, statistics show that seven in 1,000 people in the UK suffer from the disorder, while a lot more might be undiagnosed. [1]

To answer the question again, no, it’s not your fault. Living with BPD is difficult enough for the sufferer, don’t make it any harder by focusing on blaming yourself for something you have no control over. Instead, focus on acceptance and compassion that are necessary tools to help you reduce the symptoms – you deserve kindness and recovery.

References:
[1] research.net