Is Low Libido Normal?

Experiencing low libido, especially if you’re in a loving relationship can be confusing and concerning. In this blog, we’ll talk about what losing interest in sex means and what to do when it happens to you.

If Your Libido Recently Decreased, Should You Worry?

No one’s sex drive is high all the time and low libido might be perfectly normal. If you’ve been more stressed or tired than usual sex might be the last thing on your mind. Sex drive might also be affected by certain medications such as contraceptive pills and antidepressants. If lack of sex drive doesn’t cause problems in your relationship and isn’t accompanied by other worrying symptoms, you probably have nothing to be concerned about.

However, loss of libido can also be a sign of other underlying issues such as thyroid problems so if you can’t tie it to anything that’s happening in your life, it might be a good idea to get tested. Low sex drive might also indicate mental health problems and most commonly depression. One of the previous studies found that 70% of depressed patients suffered from low sex drive. [1] Even though you might worry about the negative impact of antidepressants on your sexual function, studies also show that halving the dose improves the problem in most people. If you’ve been struggling with a feeling of hopelessness, low energy, concentration problems, lack of sleep and motivation loss, it’s best to seek treatment as soon as possible.

What to Do If You Struggle with Low Libido and It’s Affecting Your Relationship?

Even though sex isn’t the most important part of a relationship, its absence might disrupt the emotional connection between you and your partner, especially if you don’t talk about it and hope it improves on its own. Here’s what to do when you notice your libido has decreased:

1. Improve your communication skills

Ongoing relationship problems are stressful and stress is the common culprit when it comes to low libido. Learning how to listen to each other’s point of view without interrupting and avoiding accusatory language can help prevent future arguments and make you feel more comfortable in your relationship.

2. Exclude underlying problems

Contact your GP to make sure that there’s no physical condition that might be affecting your libido and consider if you could attribute it to any major events that have recently happened in your life. For example, it’s common to experience loss of desire after giving birth or after undergoing a medical procedure such as a leep biopsy. If that’s the case, it’s important to give yourself time and accept that your libido will be low for a while.

3. Confide in your partner

Low libido can cause problems in a relationship mainly because the affected partner is often ashamed to talk about it. But if you decide to ignore the issue, your partner might worry that your loss of interest in sex means that you’re no longer attracted to them, which will make it harder for them to support you and the more alone you feel, the less likely it is that your problem improves.

4. Learn to manage stress

Incorporating stress management techniques in your daily routine can help you gradually get your libido back. For example, you could practise deep breathing, make sure that you do something enjoyable every day or keep a journal where you write down your worries.

If your libido has been low for a while, it’s a good idea to consider therapy that can help address the underlying issues. Contact My Family Psychologist to help you find a treatment suited to your needs

[1] https://www.aafp.org/pubs/afp/issues/2000/0815/p782.html