Love Is In The Air
Love languages have been explored and used in many ways! Nowadays you can do a test to figure out what yours or your partners love language is!
The 5 love languages were devised by Dr Gray Chapman (1995), highlighting the ways we communicate love.
Relationships can grow and be maintained when we communicate with each other and can understand each other. The 5 love languages may not be considered evidence-based practice, but it has shown to be a useful tool in couple therapy. Therapists encourage clients to learn how they show and receive love. The love languages can create a framework to help couples learn about their needs.
As social being we desire human connection, however stains and conflicts on a relationship can hinder the communication and connection with our partners. By using the 5 love languages you can express love to your partners and deepen communication and connection within the relationship. However, a key concept for love languages to work is the ability for one to control and change their own behaviours.
What are the Five Love Languages?
Word of affirmation
This form of love is expressed through verbal communication that is encouraging, active, affirmative, and appreciative. As humans, we want to feel appreciated and valued by those we are near and love. This can build stronger and productive relationships. By speaking or hearing positive words it can motivate and encourage positive actions. Examples may include writing a love letter or notes
Act of service
Love does not always need to be verbal! This love language is about the demonstration of love which is described as selfless acts. Despite how exhausting or time consuming an act of service may be, your partner or you will feel it is worth it due to the effort you or they have put into it. In relationships, selfless acts make one feel warm and have the feelings of butterflies in their stomach as a loved one has done something for them without a personal gain. Examples may include cook them a meal, clean the house before they return from work
Love languages are a reflection on how you give love and how you receive it. Receiving gifts is one of the most common love languages you may have come across! The item is not necessary the most important thing but it’s about showing you are thinking of your partner – but if the gift reflections and represents the relationship, it shows the feeling of affection towards each other.
The true meaning of receiving or giving gifts as a love language is it’s sentimental! It has shown to increase feelings of satisfaction and help reinforce positive acknowledgement for each other. It is the thought that counts no matter how big or small the gift may be, it serves as a reminder of how they are loved.
Quality over Quantity! Quality time does not always need to be romantic but finding ways to express your love to each other in other ways. The love language is centred on togetherness where you give your undivided attention to each other.
In relationships, this can make one feel loved and cherished resulting in stronger connections to meaningful relationships. It is about making time for your partner and intentionally wanting to be in their presence. Being in the same place does not necessarily mean you spend quality time with each other as one may feel alone or empty if there is no connection present.
This may sound obvious! Focusing on expressing love in a nonverbal way – through physical expressions and intimacy is essential in relationships. However, physical touch does not only mean sensual needs but desiring physical touch needs. This may include holding hands or a simple hug.
Touch is the first sense we have when we are born hence critical for social and behavioural development. Touch has the ability to communicate emotional signals therefore having physiological benefits. Touch can strengthen romantic relationships and is highly correlated to overall relationship and partner satisfaction.
Chapman, G. D. (1995). The five love languages: How to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. Chicago: Northfield Pub.