“The narcissist is like a bucket with a hole in the bottom: No matter how much you put in, you can never fill it up.” Dr Ramani Durvasula.
In the age of selfies, influencers, and a constant need for validation via likes, the term narcissist gets thrown around on social media. A lot.
In the last five years, the use of the word narcissist itself has gone up on social media platforms, especially Instagram, Facebook and, of course, TikTok. In the UK, the Counselling Directory and Life Coach Directory have reported a 94% rise in inquiries about narcissism and in early 2024-2025, the same site saw an 835% rise in organic Google clicks on topics related to narcissism. Google itself has noted that the term “is my boyfriend a narcissist?” gets over 1,500 searches per month, versus 350 searches for “is my girlfriend a narcissist?”, showing that this topic is usually researched in relation to intimate relationships.
Does this mean that there are more narcissistic people walking around, or is this pointing to a higher rate of interest in narcissism, due to online trends and better access to research?
Narcissistic? Or Something Else?
Starting with a clinical definition, the DSM-5, which was released in 2013, states that for a person to be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, they must have the following behaviours:
- Has a grandiose sense of self-importance. Exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognised as superior without commensurate achievements.
- Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- Believes they are “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people or institutions.
- Requires excessive admiration.
- Has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favourable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations.
- Is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve their own ends.
- Lacks empathy and is unwilling to recognise or identify with the feelings and needs of others.
- Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of them.
- Shows arrogant, haughty behaviours or attitudes.
For the diagnosis of NPD to apply, a person must display five of the nine behaviours.
Gender Divide in NPD
Green et al (2023) found in their vignette-based study that 75% of NPD diagnoses were made in males. Interestingly, in the same vignette study, it was found that women who displayed clinically relevant symptoms of NPD were more likely to be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, or BPD. This suggests a gender bias in the diagnosis, which can and will, have an impact on public perception. It may also highlight bias of the professional as, unlike other conditions which can be self-diagnosed using tools, NPD can only be diagnosed by a trained mental health professional, according to the APA Focus Review of 2022. If a therapist is trained to see NPD in males due to a subconscious bias, rather than assessing them for BPD, it could lead to overdiagnosis in this area.
This article is purely for educational purposes and is not designed for self-diagnosis. If you recognise any of these signs in yourself or somebody you know and need to access any support, then get in touch with us at My Family Psychology and see what we can do to help you.
Narcissism and Social Media
As social media continues to grow in popularity, there has been a rise in videos and shorts about narcissism. However, what is now considered to be narcissistic behaviours do not match the clinical diagnosis mentioned above, which was highlighted in a 2022 study by Freestone. This could be due to influencers aiming to simplify complex psychology, or it may highlight Gen Z’s emphasis on emotional intelligence.
A study published in PLOS ONE, by Grubbs et al (2019) found that Gen Z, in particular, labelled undesirable traits in people in general as being narcissistic. For example, showing anger and setting firm boundaries within relationships were indicators of “covert” narcissism, but these are not in the DSM-5 Criteria and are considered emotionally regulated behaviours.
Social media and the use of ‘therapy talk’ have gained significant views, with Psychology.org noting that #TherapyTok has gained over 1.7 billion views and on Instagram, posts with the hashtag #MentalHealth appear in over 49 million posts. Therapists who have large online followings, like Dr Ramani, have warned against the use of this kind of content as diagnostic material, due to this popularity; however, this content continues to be viewed by younger age groups, which can impact worldview and prompt people to see narcissism, where there are simply boundaries and emotional reactions.
Narcissism On A Spectrum
Interestingly, the link between milder behaviours being associated with NPD may be to do with the ICD-11. Released in 2019 and adopted by most countries in 2022, this diagnostic tool breaks down NPD on a spectrum, ranging from mild to severe. For instance, the ICD-11 lists arrogance, attention-seeking, low empathy and defensiveness as moderate narcissistic traits and, according to Day et al (2024), this is a more reliable measurement for NPD.
As the ICD-11 is being used to train psychologists, mental health teams and even doctors in most European countries, as well as Canada, Australia and Asia, could it be that the influencers being trained with this model are just repeating what they are being taught on social media, while stretching the diagnostic criteria a little bit? Is narcissism truly on a spectrum, or is it more set in stone based on rigid, diagnosable traits like those in the DSM-5?
I hope you found this blog article an interesting read. If you have enjoyed this article, feel free to drop a comment. We appreciate all feedback and want to hear how you find these blogs. If you are struggling or would like to find out more about narcissism, please contact My Family Psychologist on 07801 079 555 or email luisa@myfamilypsychologist.com
FAQs
What Is Narcissism?
Clinically, NPD is a mental health condition with long-term ideas around self-grandiosity, need for admiration and a lack of empathy. People with NPD often have an inflated sense of self-importance, which impacts emotional functioning and relationships negatively.
Why Has The Word Narcissist Become So Popular Online?
There are several factors, with the main one being the rise of influencers using “therapy speak” to gain more followers. Also, more people are searching online for insight into common relationship culture for validation, which can lead them to look up associated terms, like “love bombing,” “ghosting” and “discarding.”
What Should I Do If I Think I’m In A Relationship With a Narcissist?
If you think you are in an intimate relationship with a narcissist, you should seek professional help from a therapist or mental health professional, as well as seek outside support. If there are secondary issues arising, such as abuse (physical, verbal, or mental), then you should seek safety with a trusted family member or friend immediately.
References
American Psychiatric Association. (2022). Narcissistic personality disorder: Progress in understanding and treatment. Focus, 20. https://doi.org/10.1176/appi.focus.2022.NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
Australian Psychological Society. (2023, September 14). TherapyTok: Social media has made therapy sexy, but what do we make of that? Psychology.org.au. Retrieved August 4, 2025, from https://psychology.org.au/about-us/news-and-media/aps-in-the-media/2023/therapytok-social-media-has-made-therapy-sexy%2C-but
Bach, B., & First, M. B. (2018). Application of the ICD‑11 classification of personality disorders. BMC Psychiatry, 18, 351. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-018-1908-3
Durvasula, R. S. (2019). Don’t you know who I am? How to stay sane in an era of narcissism, entitlement, and incivility. Post Hill Press.
Day, N. J. S., Green, A., Denmeade, G., Bach, B., & Grenyer, B. F. S. (2024). Narcissistic personality disorder in the ICD‑11: Severity and trait profiles of grandiosity and vulnerability. Journal of Clinical Psychology, 80(8), 1917–1936. https://doi.org/10.1002/jclp.23701
Freestone, M., Osman, M., & Ibrahim, Y. (2022). On the uses and abuses of narcissism as a public health issue. The British Journal of Psychiatry, 220(1), 54–57. https://doi.org/10.1192/bjp.2020.70
Greedus, A. (2024, August 2). Increase in searches and engagement around the topic narcissism. Counselling Directory. Retrieved August 4, 2025, from https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/press/increase‑in‑interest‑surrounding‑covert‑narcissism
Green, A., Day, N. J. S., Hart, C. M., Grenyer, B. F. S., & Bach, B. (2024). Gender bias in assessing narcissistic personality: Exploring the utility of the ICD‑11-dimensional model. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 64(3), 248–264. https://doi.org/10.1111/bjc.12503
Grubbs, J. B., Exline, J. J., McCain, J., Campbell, W. K., & Twenge, J. M. (2019). Emerging adult reactions to labeling regarding age-group differences in narcissism and entitlement. PLOS ONE, 14(5), e0215637. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0215637
PsychScene Hub. (n.d.). Understanding narcissistic personality disorder: The concept of narcissism, DSM-5 criteria & ICD-11 conceptualisation. https://psychscenehub.com/psychbytes/understanding-narcissistic-personality-disorder-the-concept-of-narcissism-dsm-5-criteria-icd-11-conceptualisation/