“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other”- Audrey Hepburn
Intimate relationships are hard. Moreso, for the women involved.
It is true that while there is an emphasis in recent times on the role of men in relationships, such as the Men’s Relationship Programme in the UK, Australia and Canada, it should come as no surprise that for women, intimate relationships are more complicated.
Why? Women are seen inherently as caregivers, to children and to their partner, with as many as 58% stating that they see themselves as the primary carer to children (Gallup Poll 2024). Also, with modern economic pressures, many women now wear more hats than ever before, having to juggle their home life, their childcare roles, their jobs and intimacy in relationships all at the same time.
When it comes to relationship concerns that women have, the trends show that these are not just individual complaints. These issues point to signals in how intimacy, gender roles, mental health and social expectations gel in modern partnerships. When these are put together, they paint a picture of how changing norms are reshaping what women expect from relationships.
Do Women Expect More?
What women want and expect from their husbands or long-term partners has shifted. From the 1970s onwards, women began to look for more autonomy in their relationships, as well as wanting to combine their career with their home life and also putting love first as the reason for marriage over financial insecurity (Hoffnung 20024). In the last decade, what women expect from their partners has shifted from this towards relationships having a more equal division of labour (study), better communication skills from their partners, emotional maturity and mental health awareness.
Why has this happened? The reasons vary and have been linked by studies like Pepin 2024 and from the Pew Research Centre (2022-2024) to:
- Women are no longer prioritising marriage.
- Higher levels of education.
- Earning power shifts, with more women having financial independence.
- Evolving gender norms.
- Cultural redefinition of success.
- Emotional maturity.
- Mental health awareness.
This does point to a cultural shift, as well as an unwillingness to simply ‘put up’ with unacceptable behaviour from partners. So, what are the concerns that women have about their relationships with their spouses or husbands, if it isn’t financial dependence or domestic disputes?
Lack Of Emotional Connection
According to Psychology Today, women frequently express concerns that their partners aren’t emotionally available. In other words, they have worries that their partner doesn’t listen, share their own fears or vulnerabilities and don’t engage in meaningful discussions or conversations. This has led to an increase in the number of couples seeking out couples therapy.
The study also found that women express concerns about unresolved conflicts, as well as low levels of intimacy. Both are correlated with poorer mental and emotional health in women, which can lead to feelings that their partners are distracted or checked out. This showcases that women require deeper conversations with their partners to feel secure, which highlights an emphasis on communication between partners.
Unequal Division of Domestic and Emotional Labour
It should come as no surprise to many women reading this that another core issue that many women have in relationships is that they have to manage a disproportionate share of household planning, such as remembering kids’ appointments, managing Christmas card lists and so on, as well as being the caregiver to both the kids and partner. Unsurprisingly, this leads to women feeling that this mental load can lead to higher levels of emotional fatigue, as well as women having a smaller window of tolerance than men. According to a study by Barrigozzi et al 2025, this can lead to many women asking themselves whether or not the domestic labour is equally divided, or whether their partner sees the inherent value in what they do.
Sexual Intimacy and Dissatisfaction
An area of women’s lives that, for some reason, is still seen as taboo is sexual intimacy and dissatisfaction in their sexual relationships with their partner. According to studies by Cooper 2023 and Arnella 2024, women have higher reports of concerns relating to body image than men, which has been linked to feeling undesirable sexually. The concern about being treated like a caregiver rather than a partner was another worry that many women had in long-term relationships, and, interestingly, it was noted that women found it nothing short of disrespectful or annoying when their partners were distracted during intimate moments. These distractions led the women in these studies to consider if their partner still desired them sexually, which, again, had an impact on self-esteem and libido.
Financial Insecurity
A recurring issue that has been found since the 1970s onwards, even with the financial independence of women becoming more paramount, is financial imbalance and being economically vulnerable. According to the House of Commons Survey, at the time of writing, 71.8% of women above the age of 16 in the UK are working. Even with this, one-third of women in relationships are partially or entirely financially dependent on their partner, more so if they have children together. This has led to many women reporting worries about whether they would be able to financially manage if they broke up with their partner, or if their partner left.
I hope you found this blog article an interesting read. If you have enjoyed this article, feel free to drop a comment. We appreciate all feedback and want to hear how you find these blogs. If you are worried about concerns with you relationship or you are having recurring issues with your partner based on unmet needs, please contact My Family Psychologist on 07801 079 555 or email luisa@myfamilypsychologist.com for couples therapy.
FAQs
Are Modern Relationships Different?
In a word, yes. Since the 1970’s, there has been a shift in what is expected in relationships for both partners. Even since the 1990’s, what women have expected from relationships has changed from the traditional line of breadwinner and child carer to working mum who has a loving relationship with their partner, if they have a partner at all.
What Are Concerns That Women Have About Relationships?
Research has found that women in 2025 are concerned about lack of emotional connection, unequal division of labour and sexual intimacy concerns with their partner. There is evidence that they have concerns about financial dependence on their partner but this is not as high on the list.
What Do These Changes in Relationship Expectations Say About Women?
The expectations that women have about relationships highlights emotional awareness, the importance of this for women to feel safe and appreciated with their partners, while also highlighting women’s sexuality. Studies have found that working on these areas in relationship therapy has improved relationships for women, highlighting their role in modern long-term commitments.
References
Arenella, K., et al. (2024). Desire discrepancy in long-term relationships: A qualitative study of partners’ experiences. Family Process. Advance online publication. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38234271/
Barigozzi, F., Biroli, P., Monfardini, C., Montinari, N., Pisanelli, E., & Vitellozzi, S. (2025, May 16). Beyond time: Unveiling the invisible burden of mental load (arXiv:2505.11426) [Preprint]. arXiv. https://doi.org/10.48550/arXiv.2505.11426
Fioroni, S. (2024, July 8). Majority of U.S. women struggle to prioritize health [Report]. Gallup. https://news.gallup.com/poll/646529/majority-women-struggle-prioritize-health.aspx
Francis-Devine, B., Zaidi, K., & Murray, A. (2025, February 28). Women and the UK economy (Research Briefing No. SN06838). House of Commons Library. https://commonslibrary.parliament.uk/research-briefings/sn06838/
Hoffnung, M. (2004). Wanting it all: Career, marriage, and motherhood during college-educated women’s 20s. Sex Roles, 50(9–10), 579–593.
Mintz, L. B. (2023, April 8). 4 contributors to heterosexual women’s low sexual desire. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/sex-esteem/202304/4-contributors-to-heterosexual-women-low-sexual-desire
Nolsoe, E. (2021, May 5). One in three women in relationships are financially dependent on their partner. YouGov. https://yougov.com/en-gb/articles/35695-one-three-women-relationships-are-financially-depe
Oliffe, J. L., O’Brien, M., Fuller, A., & Beausoleil, N. (2021). Men building better relationships: A scoping review. Health Promotion Journal of Australia, 32(3), 409–421. https://doi.org/10.1002/hpja.463
Parker, K., & Minkin, R. (2023). Public has mixed views on the modern American family. Pew Research Center. https://www.pewresearch.org/social-trends/2023/09/14/the-modern-american-family/
Pepin, J. R., & Cohen, P. N. (2024). Growing uncertainty in marriage expectations among U.S. youth. Socius, 10. https://doi.org/10.1177/23780231241241035
Smith-Etxeberria, K., Unibaso-Markaida, I., Macía, P., Fernández Villanueva, I., & Corres Medrano, I. (2024). Development and validation of a measure of expectations toward romantic relationships (ETRR). Acta Psychologica, 251, 104603. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.actpsy.2024.104603
Sowan, W., & Saba, A. (2025). Social support and perceived danger in intimate relationships: Gender differences and the role of asymmetrical support in couples experiencing high conflict and in the general population. Social Sciences, 14(9), 507. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci14090507