Spice up your life
13 suggestions to step up the pillow talk in your relationship
There is no denying the importance of sex and sexuality in a relationship. As sexual beings, it is natural for us to want touch, be close, kiss and connect sexually with our partners or significant others but what happens when the Honeymoon Period is over? Spice Up your life will provide some great ideas to keep things interesting.
Hitting a dry spell is not uncommon and it may not even be due to not craving that intimacy. Other things seem to get in the way; work, children, family and financial difficulties can sometimes leave us feeling drained and simply not in the mood.
Want to relight the fire? Feeling a little more adventurous than usual?
Here are simple sexual suggestions which might just light that fuse and set those fireworks flying and just Spice Up Your Life!
Simply as the title suggests. Kiss your partner, but do only that! Set a timer for 30 minutes and use your lips and nothing else. Building anticipation can enhance your experience by giving you opportunity to feel how your partner reacts and bonding with them. It may seem like a long time but see how long you can last!
Explore the senses!
Try using things to boost the senses or take them away. Try using a soft blindfold with your partner. Restricting sight can enhance the other senses, especially the sense of touch. Use a feather on your partner and use it across their body slowly. Use an ice cube or hot wax on the skin. The difference in temperature on the skin can affect different erogenous zones. Try restricting one sense and go from there. See how it feels and take it turns if you feel comfortable to do so.
Take it slow and make eye contact.
Take your time experiencing your partner and appreciating them. Look deep into each other’s eyes and allow yourself to experience the sensations. Eye contact is proven to enhance sexual experience and bonding between couples. Transference of energy when you engage in eye contact can show that you are present in the moment and give you a confidence boost! Remember sex is a form of communication, even if there is no verbal exchange, the eyes can communicate and express how the other is feeling in the moment.
Get a new point of view by doing the deed in front of a mirror. Watching each other in positions you would not otherwise see each in can be exciting and give you a performance boost!
You can leave your hat on
Try unzipping a fly instead of removing trousers or pushing underwear to one side instead of taking them off. This may feel like the opposite idea when it comes to intimacy, especially when humans desire skin to skin contact but that sense of urgency can make your session exciting and heighten sexual desire.
All Tease, No Sleaze
Send flirty texts telling them what you want to do to them. This can be a subtle way of letting your partner know that you are thinking about them. Feeling wanted can be really exciting in relationships as often this is seen as validation of sexual attraction.
Use Mood Foods
Some foods and drinks are natural aphrodisiacs and are often referred to as ‘Foods of Love’. Oysters, strawberries, dark chocolate, salmon and red wine are all rumoured to be libido enhancing qualities and can get the juices flowing. Or an excuse to have a cheat day!
Playing the Part
Ever fantasised about dressing up and pretending to be somebody else? Chances are it has probably crossed your partners mind too! Pretending to be somebody else might ignite the actor or actress in you so you can give an award winning performance!
Put some music on
Studies have shown that music during intimacy can really set the mood and tone of the experience. Try looking for playlists on Spotify or make your own depending on what you or your partner enjoy listening to. Have a mixture of songs at different tempos or genres can impact the speed during that intimate moment.
Get Romantic and “Get it on”
Being traditionally romantic isn’t for everybody but going all out may set a different tone. Leave a trail of rose petals towards the bedroom, light some candles and burn some incense. Write a letter or card to the other saying what you appreciate about each other. Have a bath together with bubbles. Have a meal together and have some champagne on ice. Turn the phones off and be present with your partner with no distractions.
Use your Hands
Massages can be both relaxing and sexually charged. Set the scene by lighting some candles and invest in scented oils. Take it in turns massaging each other and see where the mood takes you.
Dancing together often requires having your bodies close together. Feeling each other’s bodies against each other is intimate and moving your bodies to the music can be extremely enticing.
Change of Scenery
Usually, confined to the bedroom? Step it up in different parts of the house. In the shower, in the living room, in the hallway, on the stairs, against the wall. Use the space available to you and have fun!
Get in touch with My Family Psychologist if you are having difficulties in your relationship. We offer Couple’s Therapy for those experiencing relationship, marital and sexual difficulties.
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