Online dating is popular and more accessible than it ever has been. All it takes is two clicks and people are entered in an online system where they can access an abundance of other individuals who are looking to meet the ‘The One’. You need to know what happens after you swipe right. We all know that we have to kiss a few frogs before we find our prince or princess.

Given the current rules around social distancing, it seems that more people are taking to online sites in order to connect with people and gain some sense of connectedness with the outside world. Online dating sites are more important now than they have ever been in order to help people achieve this.

Until recently, I had only heard of a few terms used by people to describe their experience of dating people that they have met online which have not ended at they planned. It is becoming a more common occurrence that people are reporting negative experiences after swiping right.

So whether you are online dating or know somebody who is, here is a quick A-Z Guide of Harmful Dating Terms that you need to be aware of.

What Happens after you swipe right?

Benching

When somebody puts a potential relationship on the back burner for the sake of a more promising relationship. People may revisit the benched person if other options fall through.

Blue-Stalling

When two people are dating and acting like a couple, but one person in the partnership states they’re unready for any sort of label or commitment.

Breadcrumbing

Leaving a trail of bread crumbs, breadcrumbing is when someone leads a romantic interest on. They keep attention from afar by dropping little bits of attention here and there, whether it be a text or Instagram ‘like’. There is no guarantee of a date despite the suggestions that there will be. Imagine Hansel and Gretel but without the happy ending.

Catfish

Someone who uses a fake identity to lure dates online.

Cloaking

The new ‘Ghosting’. Where Ghosting involved a potential love interest going quiet, getting cloaked means getting blocked on social media sites.

Firedooring

When the effort in a relationship is one sided, this is referred to as Firedooring as they only open from one side.

Glamboozled

Imagine getting all dressed up ready for a first date only to get bailed on by the other person. Sadly, more than half of daters have experienced this.

Gaslighting

Gaslighting is a term used when people try to convince another that they are wrong about something, even when in fact they aren’t. In more extreme cases, it can be a real form of emotional abuse especially when done over a long period of time. Victims of gaslighting start to doubt themselves and their own sanity. It can have a highly negative effect on a person’s self-esteem. Gaslighters are generally controlling and are aware of what they are doing. Avoid at all costs. If you suspect your partner or person you are dating is gaslighting you and you are not sure how to address this, get in touch with us at My Family Psychologist and see how we can help.

Ghosting

Probably the most common modern dating term used and experienced by daters. Ghosting is when somebody cuts contact unexpectedly with the person they are dating without any warning and gives no reason.

Haunting

Like ghosting but the ‘ghoster’ continues to watch social media stories (on Instagram or Facebook) or likes the posts of people who have been ghosted.

Kayne-ing

Being Kanye’d means that you are dating somebody who loves the sound of their own voice. Will often talk about themselves in an arrogant and egoistical manner and dominate conversations talking about themselves and paying no attention to you. Basically, a little bit of a narcissist.

Kittenfishing

People using images of themselves which appear flattering at the point that they may be deceptive. For example using old or heavily edited photographs on their dating profiles. People who kittenfish will also exaggerate physical features about themselves such as their height, age, achievements and interests. When you meet them in person, you may not get what you bargained for.

Lovebombing

People who Lovebomb will shower potential partners with gifts or gestures which demonstrate affection with the promise of a future. This sounds all well and good but it serves a purpose to distract you from the not-so-good aspects of them or the relationship. This can often form the basis of an abusive relationship so if you have any doubt, get out!

Microcheating

Often referred to as emotional cheating or sexting with somebody who is not your partner. Many microcheaters may justify this behaviour as they do not believe that it is crossing the line.

Sneating

When people accept dates with other people just to get a free meal on a date.

R-Bombing (or Left on Read)

When people don’t respond to another’s messages but read them so that the other person can see ‘delivered’ or ‘read signs’. Generally makes you feel like throwing your phone across the room!

Roaching

When a romantic partner hides that fact that they are dating other people who aren’t you.

Stashing

The act of somebody hiding the fact that they are dating you from their family, friends and on social media. Not met their friends or family even after months of dating? Chances are you probably being stashed.

Submarineing

When somebody ghosts, then suddenly returns weeks, months or even years later and acts as though nothing has happened.

Zombieng

Dated somebody or had a long term relationship which ends? And then they come back from the grave to say ‘hi’.

If you are experiencing relationship issues and feel like you would benefit from some support, get in touch with us at My Family Psychologist. We offer services working individually with people or in couples therapy to work through issues such as relationship, marital and sexual difficulties. Get in touch to see how we can help.