Why Do I Feel Lonely Even Though I’m Not Alone?

Why Do I Feel Lonely Even Though I’m Not Alone?

Why Do I Feel Lonely Even Though I’m Not Alone?

At first glance, your social life might be thriving; you might have a lot of friends, go out often and always have someone to talk to. At the same time, you might be struggling with a feeling of loneliness. Since loneliness is an emotional state, being surrounded by people isn’t always enough to feel connected.

How Does Loneliness Differ From Being Alone?

When you’re alone, it means that you are by yourself and might not have any people in the social circle you can talk to. While some dread this kind of scenario, others enjoy solitude and don’t feel lonely despite not having friends. On the other hand, loneliness is a state of being disconnected from other people even if you spend time with them. While it’s not uncommon to feel lonely, social isolation is linked to many health problems, such as depression, anxiety, sleep problems and increased risk of dementia and mortality. [1]  

Reasons Why You Might Be Feeling Lonely Despite Being Surrounded By People

Have you ever been in a room filled with people and felt as if you were standing behind a glass? Some people feel this lonely on a daily basis no matter how many friends they have.

The reason is usually the quality of their friendships:

1. Your relationships aren’t fulfilling

As the saying goes, it’s not about quantity, it’s about quality. If you’re surrounded by people whom you have nothing in common with, it’s difficult to develop a deep emotional connection with them. For example, you might have friends who don’t share your values and views or hang out with people who make you feel like you have to put on a mask.

2. You don’t spend quality time together

It’s always fun to go on spontaneous adventures and take your mind off things but a high-quality friendship also involves sharing your problems and connecting on a deeper level. If your friends barely know what’s going on in your life but are always up for going out, you won’t feel like you truly belong in that social circle. Similarly, if your friend is on their phone every time you see them, it will be difficult to feel connected to them.

3. The friendship isn’t equal

Are you the one always reaching out and arranging to meet up? We all get busy but even purely platonic relationships need to be more or less equal, and if your friends aren’t putting in as much effort as you do, you might feel like they don’t care enough, which leads to a feeling of loneliness.

4. You’re afraid of being vulnerable

People who were hurt in the past might struggle to open up because they fear that the story will repeat itself. While putting up a barrier might serve as protection at first, it prevents people from getting to know you and robs you of a chance to make close friends.
If you’re feeling lonely and need someone to talk to, contact My Family Psychologist for a confidential chat.

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4391342/

If you are feeling pressured or need someone to speak to, contact My Family Psychologist for a confidential chat about how we may be able to help.

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